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(1 | edit the sad parts)

[27 Sep 2004|05:21pm]
new journal :) </a></b></a>babybluesedan14

(5 | edit the sad parts)

[24 Sep 2004|11:54pm]
[ mood | listless ]

ok well this is going to be just another rambeling entry...i went to the mall with billy today. We walked arround then i went to clairs and got a headband, off the free rack ;) of corse. Then we went and got food and all that good stuff and i got starbucks (mmmm) and then we went back to his house and chilled till my mom came and picked me up.

So while i was doing that my only friends were getting into a load of shit, nedless to say now its down to: shley, billy. And wow does that make me feel lame :(. Tomorrow i am not sure what i have going on yet...probably sittin at home because i think billy allready has plans with his friends so yeah.

Now i have also become aware of alot more people who feel they need to end their own lives, or at one time did. Now, these people do not come as a surprise to me but i also ignored alot of the signs. And i have come to the conclusion that The only reason i wake up and every morning and drag myself out of bed is to see billy. Shley has become family to me so its gaurentied i would get to see her every day wether i like it or not. But i dont know what i would do without her. And i am satisfied with every aspect of my life right now but i still feel like there is something im just looking past. i have changed alot in the past 6 months and that is because of one person. and i think the change is for the better. but that period of time has also given me the feeling that everything is too good to be true. like every emotion i am feeling i dont deserve and that i dont deserve what i have. i dont even know what to say anymore except i wonder how can i be so uneasy about the one person that makes me happy. and why cant i ever stop thinking about him. because i dont deserve this at all.

ok thats the end of my speaking...but it felt good to get that all out and i told you it was going to be me rambeling.

(6 | edit the sad parts)

[22 Sep 2004|08:56pm]

Today was a good day...school, home, football game. Thats pretty much all. I have been spending my days hangin out with Billy this past week and that is always fun. Everything is awesome between us right now so as long as thats good im a happy person. Shley has been sick all week but she came to the game tonight so i got to see her. I had dance tuesday im so fucking sore right now. my knees are swelling again which means the meds arnt working and im going to have to get them drained :[.  I talked to my sister the other day...im not quite as angry with her anymore but im very upset with her. God i sound like her mother :\. But the fact of the matter is that she is a dumb ass and made a bad decision and on top of that broke her promis to me so she got what she deserved.  She said she was coming down to see us so i guess ill put up with her since i dont get to see her at all. Its been almost 3 years since i last saw her. Coming up on October 10th will be my 2 years here...wont quite have a celebration like last year but it all good. Ugh i have dance tomorrow which should be ok, i dont like how cory teaches but oh well. My first preformance is at glendale gliters in december so i know its far away but all you bitched better come watch me! lol. ok well im out, i have a big headache so i think im gonna go to bed.

(3 | edit the sad parts)

[19 Sep 2004|07:22am]
[ mood | tired ]

so my weekend has been fun...even though i havnt seen billy at all. i went to the mall and got all this cool stuff...i have some pictures of it but they are on sarah's camera so ill get them on here later. and then i spent the night there so that was cool. then we woke up and got ready and shit and went with her mom to sams and ate pizza. then when we got back we found out we were hangin out with lindsey so we went over there and wow that was a good time. we watched porn, ran arround in the rain and went to brother pizza and i didnt want to tip the bitch that served us but they did anyway. then we played in the rain again and went into frys then went back to lindseys. and today i think im hangin out with billy but thats only if he doesnt want to go somewhere else and warm sara and jesie up in a bathroom again...and leave me out :( lol

(6 | edit the sad parts)

[16 Sep 2004|09:57pm]
hah yet again another picture on ly layout...it from center stage.

(7 | edit the sad parts)

[14 Sep 2004|09:28pm]
[ mood | blah ]

ehh today was an ok day. went to school which was pretty blah, i dont really have that many friends and the few that i do have i never see :\ i mean sure i do have people who i say hi to every once in a while but as far as people i hang out with outside of school thers billy, shley, sarah, and beth...thats all (but hey a few good friends is better to me then alot of just ok friends.)i dunno, maybe i just need to branch out? anyway, then i came home from school and was lazy and then tannes and swam laps(yes in the little pool that i do have...well it was actucally shley's pool but there the same size) and shley tanned and then we went to mcdonalds and all i have was a double cheese burger and an icecream cone, then i went to frys and we opened various eyeliners till we found one we liked then we bought it. hah then dance :( it was allright i guess, just a lot of work...which is good for me though. and i have no clue whet im doing tomorrow so yeah call if you would like to become one of the riends i actucally hang out with outside of school

(edit the sad parts)

[09 Sep 2004|07:22pm]
[ mood | happy ]

ok well today was pretty good. school was blah like always, came home studied with shley for all the tests we have tomorrow, and just a little bit ago i talked to luke. he is one cool kid, hes comin up for thanksgiving and hes probably gonna skate with my brothers while hes here so that means ill get to see him. and we talked about him and melissa, its hard to believe they have been togetehr for almost a year. im happy for him! he is the best person to talk to...he helped me with alot of stuff i was going through a couple summers ago and i helpes him with stuff with his girlfriend so hes always there for me when i need someone to talk to (even though eh lives like thousands of miles away) lol

my grandma sent me pictures from over the summer and it makes me want to go back soo bad. alot of them were of he backyard from when they had to tear dowm a tree because it got struck by lightning. then some were of my cousins sarah and carrie at carrie's baby's baptism. so now i think im going to go back and spend time with my family for christmas.

now i have to go to dance. that should be...awesome? :\


(5 | edit the sad parts)

[06 Sep 2004|07:33pm]
[ mood | amused ]

ok well here are my adventures of last night and today so hope you like :)

the beautiful sun set

purple dildos, ok maybe red...Collapse )

(13 | edit the sad parts)

[05 Sep 2004|05:34pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

my new hurrrCollapse )

(19 | edit the sad parts)

[31 Jul 2004|03:08pm]

my journal is now friends only because of annoymous fuckers and i dont want someone in my buisness that has no need to be.

comment to be added

(15 | edit the sad parts)

[30 Jul 2004|07:32pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

ok so ive been up since 8 just sittin here...its gettin pretty boring. im going bowling tonight so that should be cool. hmm went to kris's last night...it was a grand time. didnt imbarass myself as much as i did at matt's party so that was a good thing!

i have no self controll...i have determined it, i say i wont drink anymore but when its there i just do and i need to stop. i dunno, i always say that but never go through with it. maybe i should just start with not drinking AS MUCH and work my way up from there.

my annoymous stalker has stoped...or atleast not commented as much which is a good thing. fucker doesnt have enough balls to fuckin say who he is but ill find out somehow...

(12 | edit the sad parts)

... [11 May 2004|09:46pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

RIP Chelsea Ann Parker 1987-2004
we love you and you will be missed by many

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